Message
by StargateNerd
Summary: Post Movie 19. Heiji and Conan both have words with KID concerning certain events. The Task Force spectates.
1. Please Leave Your Message After the Tone

Note: a stanchion is one of those posts that velvet ropes are strung between. This is relevant.

I'm not completely sure where this came from. I guess I wanted to write Kaito antagonizing Heiji and also Kaito saying flirtatious things about Shinichi while Conan is present and some movie 19 aftermath or smth idek I hope everyone enjoys this :)

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There were a few things that the Kaitou KID Task Force (those of them actually employed by the police department that is) knew as facts. One of these was that Kaitou KID was batshit insane. Granted, it was kind of obvious (c'mon, a thief as flashy as him?), but no one knew that quite as well as the Task Force.

Case in point, this current heist in Osaka.

The item of interest was a pink diamond brooch surrounded by pearls. The exhibition it was part of would depart for France the next day, making tonight the last chance for KID to grab it. The Task Force (read: Nakamori) reluctantly accepted the cooperation of the Osaka police, though they weren't all that keen on Hattori-keibu's high school son, who had a dark expression and muttered under his breath about stupid thieves getting what was coming to them, joining them for the evening.

It started out like your run of the mill heist. Dogpile on the bandit didn't work, Nakamori was nearly turning the air blue with his expletives, and Kaitou KID was cackling in that super annoying way he had. The only real difference was Hattori Heiji, who was aiming to bash KID's head in with the stanchion he'd just picked up.

Most of the Task Force agreed with him in theory if not in practice.

"My, my, tantei-han, how violent!" KID chided gleefully. "Whatever did I do to warrant this response?"

"You know perfectly well," Hattori snarled. "Disguising yerself as Kudo _again_ -!" He nearly succeeded in hitting the thief, but KID leapt on top of the stanchion and then over Hattori's head.

"Maa, someone's been telling tales," KID said, waggling his finger and absolutely no one blamed Hattori for his loud growl and the string of Kansai accented expletives that followed. After all, KID had been driving grown men to tears for literally years.

"He didn't need ta _tell_ me, it was practically all over the news!"

"So he sent you to scold me, hmm?" KID mused, throwing two small spheres the high schooler's way. Hattori ducked only for the officers behind him to get covered in sticky neon orange glitter.

"Nah, I'm here of my own volition," Hattori said with a vicious grin which KID returned in just as sinister a manner.

"Well then," KID purred, darting under another swing of the stanchion. "Will you give Meitantei a message for me with my deepest apologies?" The thief slipped past Hattori's guard, grabbed his jacket collar with both hands, and kissed him full on the lips.

You could have heard a pin drop in the shocked two and a half seconds that followed before Hattori made a sound like a strangled cat and punched KID in the face.

"Y-you-!" Despite his dark skin, the high schooler's cheeks burned a bright red.

"I didn't know you were a sadist tantei-han!" KID hissed as he brought a hand to his swelling cheek. "Am I bleeding? It takes forever to get anything out of this suit you know."

"You mother _fucking_ -" Garbled words left Hattori's mouth in a not quite coherent manner as he wildly swung the stanchion at the thief, who ducked before opting to get out of the danger zone and disappeared in a "poof" of smoke and reappeared on top of the jewel case.

"In the interest of keeping this heist murder free, I'm going to have to cut our fun short," KID announced. "Make sure to give meitantei my message," he told Hattori with a wink before disappearing in a final flash.

Hattori fixed the various groups of Task Force members stuck in glue, covered in glitter, covered in feathers, stuck in glue _and_ covered in sequins, a look that spoke of great violence. "No one says anything bout this, y'got it?" he growled, somehow managing to make himself heard by everyone.

What happened at KID heists and wasn't captured on camera stayed at the KID heists.


	2. You Have One Unheard Message

Seikuza Masaru was relatively new to the Kaitou KID Task Force, having only four heists under his belt after being transferred six months previously. He learned quickly, both from experience and from his coworkers, that there were four things you needed to know to get through multiple consecutive heists with your mind intact.

One, Nakamori-keibu was in charge, but you should take some things he said with a grain of salt. Two, Kaitou KID was absolutely fucking _insane_ so you should be prepared for and/or expect anything. Three, despite his age and rather irritating demeanor, Hakuba Saguru was damn smart and should be listened to (most of the time). And finally, Edogawa Conan was fucking _creepy_.

The kid (because he was seven, even though he looked about five) had come the closest to catching KID of anyone, which prompted a lot of puns about how it took a kid to catch KID, and more than a few drinks.

Masaru himself had never met the boy in person, but he'd heard stories and read the newspapers and was kind of interested, if only because Edogawa-kun must have been very smart to be able to corner KID so many times when Nakamori-keibu had been at it for over a decade and had barely ever come close to catching the thief without outside help.

He'd never imagined the stories some of the other officers had told him about the boy were true.

It was several weeks after the heist in Osaka that everyone avoided talking about in specifics, both because Hattori Heiji was frightening and because his father was a police chief and could probably make their lives miserable even if they were in a totally different city's police force. Suzuki Jirokichi had once again called KID out, this time a gold ring with a magnificent emerald everyone spent an appropriate time "ooh"ing and "aah"ing over.

Suzuki-san had insisted on wearing the ring himself as part of his plan to catch KID, but as it was a bit too small for him to wear on his finger, he wore it on a thick cord around his neck.

At the time Kaitou KID had promised to arrive, the thief appeared right beside Suzuki-san, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Get him!" Nakamori-keibu shouted and Masaru and those of his colleagues who'd been hand picked for this heist ended up in a pile on the floor with Suzuki-san trapped beneath them, but no KID.

"Ah, so predictable," KID mocked, holding up the ring which he'd somehow swiped from Suzuki-san, who was currently shouting obscenities at KID. "Honestly, I expecte-" He was cut off by a high velocity soccer ball which he just barely dodged. The ball collided with the wall behind KID, cracks spiderwebbing behind it as bits of plaster came loose. "T-Tantei-kun," the thief said, the stutter barely noticeable.

Masaru looked from his spot in the dogpile to see a young boy with oversized glasses and a stubborn cowlick glaring at KID, his shoes - were they _sparking_?

"KID," the boy acknowledged.

"Did tantei-han give your older, cuter cousin my message?" KID asked and oh blessed Kannon, Masaru thought, the thief really had no sense of self preservation did he?

Edogawa-kun grinned, a toothy, vicious little thing. "Shinichi-niichan says you can go burn in hell," he chirped cheerily. "And that the next time Ran-neechan calls him because she's upset with him because he ran off on her when it was really you disguised as him, he won't convince her not to break your face."

KID paled and Masaru wondered who this "Ran-neechan" was, that she inspired such fear in an internationally wanted criminal. She sounded interesting.

"I-is that so," KID said.

"Un!" Edogawa-kun nodded with a bright smile. "Also that you should probably stay clear of Osaka or anywhere Kazuha-neechan might be, because of what you did to Heiji-niichan. She's not very happy with you. Oh, and KID-san?"

"Yes?" KID asked, sounding a bit worried and looking a bit nervous.

Edogawa-kun's gaze sharpened and he suddenly sounded much older. "That was a warning shot. This time I won't miss."

Masaru had never seen so many soccer balls in so short a time, and he mentally noted to add "gymnast" to the list of possible professions the office betting pool had on what KID did when he wasn't being a major pain in the ass to law enforcement everywhere. Either that or "contortionist".

 **Omake:**

"Shinichi-niichan also said to stop posing like a model because it makes him look like a smug jackass, which he isn't!" Edogawa-kun yelled at the thief as he kicked another soccer ball at him.


End file.
